What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
