would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
