Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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