Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
