Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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