tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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