dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
