Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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