i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize