Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
