I didn't shave. On purpose
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
