I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
