Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
