i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i need some magic done to my vagina
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
