Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
