sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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