I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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