I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
