Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
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You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?