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• (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to give you the keys to my place

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Then I'll give you the keys to my heart

  (561): View more from Florida

  Gag me

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (714): View more from California

  I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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• (845): View more from New York

  You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Does it taste like semen?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila

  (716): View more from New York

  Step 4: your drunk

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.

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