Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"