Have you finally orgasmed yet?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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