I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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