dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
organizing the empties. That sober.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
