just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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