I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize