Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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