Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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