Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
