I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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