Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
