Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
