Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
