As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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