We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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