I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
