What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
