Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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