im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
why is half of my head shaved?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
