is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
