what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
