What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dear god my vagina.
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