dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
