If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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