I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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