i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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