Pants 0. Shit 1.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i think im in europe. pls send help
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
