Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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