dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
