My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
