Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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