So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
