I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
