after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
