Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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