new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
