This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize