Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
