Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
