I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well you can't waste a boner
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
